Whether you are talking about your day with your best friend, discussing a big project with your boss, or meeting a business colleague for the first time, knowing how to engage in a meaningful conversation is so important. You never want to walk away from a conversation feeling bored, annoyed, or confused. I have compiled [what I think] are the top three ways to hold conversations that impact all participants:
1. Don’t think about every other thing in your life while talking to someone.
When you are engaged in a conversation, do not think about all the homework you have to do, the fight you just had with your boyfriend, or what you’re going to eat for dinner. If you get the opportunity to spend time and chat with someone, give them the respect of your whole, undivided attention. It’s really obvious when the person you’re talking to isn’t paying attention. Also, if you’re thinking about other things, you might ask something that was bluntly said a few seconds ago or they might ask you something and you don’t know the answer. Another way to look at it is if you are stressed out, let that conversation be your distraction! Focus on that conversation and that conversation only.
2. Conversations aren’t a promotional opportunity for yourself.
One of the big no-no’s of meaningful conversations is turning the conversation to be about you only. For example, if the person you’re conversing with talks about how they just got an internship offer, don’t respond with “Wow! I did too! It’s with company ABC and I’m working in the XYC department.” Shifting the conversation like this is rude because it makes it look like you do not care enough about the conversation to talk about it from their side; you immediately started talking about yourself. Instead, show support, care, and interest in what they have to say. It’ll make that person feel good! You should only talk about yourself if they ask say something that encourages a response from you such as “What about you?” A conversation goes both ways..
3. Please, just listen.
This is kind of tied to the first tip, but the final (and what I think is the most important) tip for engaging in a meaningful conversation is listen! If you keep interjecting and talking (whether it is about yourself or not), you are not listening. Just sit back and listen to them talk for a few minutes. Believe me, you don’t know the things you can possibly learn until you just listen to what the other person has to say. He/she has different experiences, opinions, and knowledge than you so make the effort to listen and learn from them.Then, when you listen and learn something, you can converse with the other person about what they were talking about. You’ll be pleasantly surprised with how people can surprise you!
